<body>

Emo emo emo

Friday, March 29, 2013 ♥ 3/29/2013 10:18:00 PM ♥


It's been such a long time since I have blogged. Being busy with life, oh well, mostly career. I guess it has taken a toll of my social life too. No longer being a social butterfly. Lost contact with most of my friends. It sounds sad especially when I treasure friendship to a great extent.

Like what most people say, when you gain something, you will lose something along the path. It depends on how you see it. It has never occurred in my mind that I will feel as empty as this. It feels like there is a really big space in this really small heart of mine. I guess I have spent too much time focussing on chasing something that I feel is really important until I neglect the rest. It is time to make a change.

Perhaps it is time to juggle everything at one go before I lose even further. Fear of being alone just makes me feel even more lost. By putting all eggs into one basket is way too dangerous plus I hurt myself along the journey. Never feel so insecure like this before. I am so tired of being the strong and outgoing one in other people's eyes. I have the right to be selfish and love myself even more. Laugh out loud when I feel like it and cry a bucket of tears when I cannot hold the sadness within me anymore. It has been a really really long time since I last cried. Being strong is so tough. Perhaps I should cry myself to sleep and wake up as a new person tomorrow.

Labels:

♥ kyliemc ♥

2 glass dollie(s)

A Promise to Self

Saturday, May 26, 2012 ♥ 5/26/2012 07:56:00 PM ♥


It has been a really long long time since I have updated my long abandoned blog. I guess weeds have overgrown the whole place. I still remember the last time I mention that I will update my blog as often as possible when I start working in the new company. It is almost years now and I have not kept this promise of mine. Partly due to procrastination, partly due to my passion has burnt out. As time pass by, I seriously wonder what is there in my life I am looking forward to besides working every single day.

Work is hectic since 2 August 2010. It has also stopped me from meeting up with friends as much as I want. Is this the life I want? Spending all my youth in work & reducing my social life? I guess not. I am starting to feel lonely especially at this age when most of my friends are married with kids. Oh ya, I am starting to feel lonely & an outcast when the chat topics is none other than kids. How can I join when I do not have kids, right? Looking at the satisfied smile & joy they have on their faces make me feel proud of them. Perhaps this is what they say truly blessed with a happy family. I have been skeptical about and always will be, oh well, at least until I have found my very own happiness.

I have constantly remind myself to go home early and spend more time with family and friends. I will definitely keep this in mind this time as I do not want to burn out the passion in me. Yes, the day will come and actions speaks louder than words. I will update my blog more often too (with old posts) to remind myself of the moments I have in life. As a reminder to myself how I have spent it in the past and make some changes on how I may love it to be.

I have stopped taking pictures too. Oh no....That's so not me. I do not enjoy hanging out anymore and will rather stay home. Perhaps age do play an important role... Hey, I am not that old...Yeah, I am still young at heart or at least childish according to my friends.

Labels: ,

♥ kyliemc ♥

0 glass dollie(s)

Rant-A-Rant-Rant

Friday, June 03, 2011 ♥ 6/03/2011 11:09:00 PM ♥


I guess no one is perfect in this world. I'm not perfect myself but is it too much to expect everyone to be more responsible? Sometimes I do wonder why am I demanding myself to complete everything when there is someone out there who is so irresponsible.

Other than that, there is also people who tries to put someone else down just to make other think that she is so superior. Perhaps others may be blinded but I'm definitely not going to be a close friend of hers. Perhaps I might smile or joke with her but deep down, oh well, she's not the kind of person I will keep in touch with. Period....

Sometimes I feel so suffocated that I wonder where is fairness? But then again, I still have to bear with those ridiculous people as I still need to pay for my bills. I'm so tired... Extremely tired and I'm also so frustrated with everything.

I really need to shop. I have not been doing that since I start working here. Oh ya, though I work near a shopping mall but I don't manage to shop... I promise myself to pamper myself more. I don't want to turn into a grumpy person though I'm on the midst of turning into one soon.










Labels:

♥ kyliemc ♥

0 glass dollie(s)

It's a Brand New Year!

Sunday, January 09, 2011 ♥ 1/09/2011 11:49:00 PM ♥


It's a brand new year. I guess you must have set your new year resolutions, right? I have not done that. Haha, more to like I will not do that as most of the time, I am unable to meet them.

Anyway, Quarter 4/ year end close has ended. For me, it's a success as it's much easier than the previous one. My manager & team lead are proud of us. Guess what? I'm proud of them too. It's so hectic at work due to the confirmations through emails. Intercompany balances are zero for ASA, with very minimal differences due to system error. Our stress is replaced by joy when my manager's, baby girl decides to give him a surprise! She greets the world bout 2 weeks earlier than expected. A really 'cute' gift to all of us.

The new year has just started & I'm hoping good things will start to flow into my life once again. At least, the message one of my darling friends give me make me laugh the whole night! What can I say? Some people seriously do not have a life! Good for me though as I previously mention that the more people are jealous of me, the happier I am as it must be I'm leading a good life. Muahaha.... *coughs coughs*

Good luck in everything you do, people!

Labels: ,

♥ kyliemc ♥

1 glass dollie(s)

it's not bout getting a dream job, its' bout you love your job!

Sunday, December 05, 2010 ♥ 12/05/2010 07:04:00 PM ♥


Photobucket

It's been such a long time since I have blogged bout anything in my life. Oh well, for those who know me, I complain every other time. Ever since I place my feet in the working life, I am grumpy. Yes, I have lesser time for my social life.

Anyway, I can finally say that I love my new job! I don't feel the dread to work even til late at night. People always say that some things happen for a reason & I am convinced that it's true. Bad experience in previous workplace has given me the courage to try something new & take the challenge! The opportunity is given when I'm most stressed up last year & I can't take it anymore! The opportunity really comes knocking on my door when I receive that late night call at bout 10pm during month end closing, just days before my exam.

The interview journey is tough. I almost feel like calling the interviewer, telling him that I will not attend the interview anymore, simply because the lrt is late plus it's raining. I wear a new pair of heels & have been walking for bout an hour in the rain because passerby has directed me to the wrong direction. It seems like not everyone knows how to get to Rohas Perkasa building. My heart is telling myself that hardwork pays off & I need to attend the interview because it's so unprofessional to call off an interview at very last minute.

The interview goes well & the manager seems really nice and smart. The next day I tell my friends at work that I hope I get the job. Belinda is really sweet to help me ask her friends in the oil & gas industry bout the company I am bout to join. She asks me to go for it! Haha, I even ask people to pray for me. The whole process of waiting for confirmation takes bout 2 months but it's worth the wait.

There I am! At a new place, still working late at night. It seems like my auditor's life is back again but somehow everything's different. I feel happy to learn lots though I have to work late. I learn something new every single day. The complications in the geomarket (a group of countries) that I handle give me the chance to learn new things. The manager is willing to teach us & never screams at us. He really has the patience to guide us. In fact, he involves us in the process improvement programme that he has created. It's the first time I have experienced it plus the management actually listen to our voice. Ahh, it's so great!

Recently, I have a new team lead. At first, I'm skeptical bout it simply because she has the same name as my previous nightmare. I tell many people bout it & it so happens that Alice knows her. Alice convinces me that I should not judge the new team lead based on previous experience as her friend (my future team lead at that moment) is an angel! Boy, luckily everyone asks me to erase all the bad memories & keep an open mind. My team lead is such a darling! She's so smart! Well, when I say she's so smart, I really mean it! Totally different from the past experience where I ask question but I don't get the answer & I have to think the answer myself. New team lead is willing to teach plus she does it in a way that you truly understand the whole concept.

There, I'm proud to say that I'm starting to love my job! Hard-work & perseverance pay off! *winks* All you need is the right timing & lady luck is smiling at you from the corner. A note to everyone, yay! The management actually look into workload & do something bout it. Something new to me but I'm loving it!

Labels:

♥ kyliemc ♥

2 glass dollie(s)